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By request from today's Gang of Four

I HATE CATS --- A POEM BY BRIAN WILSON


I THINK MOST WOULD CALL ME AN AGREEABLE FELLOW

LIVE AND LET LIVE -- YOU MIGHT CALL ME MELLOW.


BUT THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I TRY TO AVOID

JUST ONE OR TWO THINGS THAT GET ME ANNOYED.


I DO NOT LIKE NUTS IN COOKIES OR CAKES.

REMEMBER THIS PLEASE THE NEXT TIME YOU BAKE.


MY HATRED OF SNAKES IS VERY WELL KNOWN

I DON’T LIKE TO TALK A LONG TIME ON THE PHONE


I BEG YOU PLEASE – DON’T MAKE ME WAIT IN A LINE

DON’T GIVE ME BLACK LICORICE … THOUGH THE RED STUFF IS FINE.


I DO NOT LIKE BUGS OR SPIDERS AT ALL

AND I DON’T CARE FOR MAYORS WHO ARENT VERY TALL.


AND I’M SORRY … OKAY? I DO NOT LIKE CATS

IN MUCH THE SAME WAY I DON’T LIKE LIVER OR RATS


I THINK THEY ARE SNEAKY --- I THINK THEY’RE POSSESSED

THEY POUNCE ON YOUR HEAD CAUSING CARDIAC ARREST


AND IF I’M ALLOWED ONE MOMENT OF CANDOR

I SNEEZE AND ITCH WHEN EXPOSED TO THEIR DANDER.


AND PLEASE DON’T FORGET THE WORST THING OF ALL

IS WHEN THEY COUGH UP A SLIMY HAIR BALL.


IF I HATE YOUR CAT, CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS?

OR IS THIS THE POINT WHERE OUR FRIENDSHIP ENDS?


FROM THE MAIL I RECEIVED IT SEEMS CAT OWNERS HAVE VOTED

AND YOUR OBJECTION TO MY HATRED OF CATS IS … DULY NOTED.

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2件のコメント


dlcmot1
2021年2月23日

Brian,


I heard your rhyming couplets this morning, thought it was rathr spontaneous, pretty funny IMO. Of course, everything is "IMO". Spend a time with 2 dozen cats in my wild, impetuous yoot, an to quote Poe, "Nevermore" ! Lived with 6 dogs over my 75 years, and hope to walk many miles more with our Little Lucy, and perhaps another poodle of some sort. Enjoy your dog. Both of you. (That's an order.) Generalissimo Dave, aka, Ole 'Deep Woods" Dave. (Little Lucy----->🐩)

いいね!

jb
2021年2月23日

Brian,

I heard this on the "gang of four" at 5;40 this morning. I'm impressed how quick you wrote it and really think its a piece of art. Y'all keep entertaining us wormseekers as we prepare to commemorate the 1 yr anniversary of the tornado which, in my opinion, commenced the year from hell or China whichever you choose to call it. Thanks for what y'all do!!

John B

Third Ave Industrial Hardware

いいね!
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